By Emilah Dawn DeToro
When I was a child growing up in a chaotic household, our dogs were my constant companions, my life raft. I was a natural-born empath and could sense their feelings and needs (and everyone else’s, too!). Scottie, Gem, Katie, and Ditto offered me unconditional love and physical comfort when I was sad, lonely, or afraid because the adults could not.
Turning to pets as a source of judgment-free social support is a long standing practice among the queer community. Animal-assisted therapy–and simply having pets–can help reduce depression, loneliness, PTSD, and trauma symptoms caused by physical violence, verbal harassment, threats, bullying, abandonment, and child abuse (Source).
One of the nonbinary participants in a recent study (Schmitz et al., 2021) described the toll on their mental health of daily misgendering–yet, even on a day where perhaps no other human got their name or pronouns right, their pet provided unconditional joy and comfort.
Dylan
Buckwheat
Charlie Pepper
Frida
Koyo
Winnie
Nero D'Avola
Macy
Lola
Hadley
Dan
Research shows that having a pet may be particularly important for LGBQTIA++ older adults, given their higher rates of depression, disability, and loneliness compared to heterosexual peers (Fredriksen-Goldsen et al., 2013; Wallace et al., 2011). And pets can be especially important to queer youth as they can help them with identity development, give them purpose, boost their sense of belonging, and enhance their positive self-regard. (Source)
The judgment-free zone can go both ways. Louise Futcher, a queer MNCS accredited therapist, notes that: “queer people are more considerate of animals’ needs compared to heteronormative individuals, because as children they were (and often still are) expected to perform certain roles and/or behaviors [that are not authentic to them]…” In addition, Futcher explains, “[Queer folx] seem to be more likely to allow the animal to express themselves and be delighted at their quirks – whether that’s cheeky or grumpy or chonky – rather than trying to force them to be a certain way.” (Source)
The Healers: Emilah & Reggie the Heeler
Emilah (right) with her mom, sister Christine, and Scottie her Beloved Dog
Queer folx love their pets
and it shows up in the research
65-75% of LGBTQIA+ individuals in the United States reported having a pet, compared to 50% of the general population in 2020. (Community Marketing & Insights 14th Annual LGBTQ Community Survey)
Child-free LGBTQIA+ households are more likely to own pets than child-free heterosexual households. (Source)
An Advocate Poll shows 90% of queer pet owners say their pet is a member of their family, and two thirds have bought their pets presents for the holidays.
In 2004 a rollover car accident cracked open my being, allowing hidden psychic, intuitive, and energy-healing gifts to be revealed. Suddenly I could communicate with animals clearly and directly. Thus began my healing work with pets. In the 20 years that I’ve been communicating with and healing pets and their people, I’ve seen first hand the ways they uplift, comfort, and empower us. They have a soul purpose just like humans do, they know when their work is complete with a particular human, and they are fearless during their death process.
They may lash out in physical or emotional pain from early abuse or neglect (much like humans do), but with love, care, and patience, they heal and come to love again. They are a powerful demonstration of resilience and how love heals individuals and packs/families. And so is the queer community.
This June amidst all the Pride celebrations, I, and the entire Gaymber Board, encourage you to celebrate our queer community–critters and humans alike!–by participating in the Pawsitively Queer 2025 Pet Calendar Contestfundraiser for the Gaymber. Whether you enter your pet to win them a professional photo shoot & slot in the Pawsitively Queer 2025 Pet Calendar, vote for your favorite critters, promote your business by purchasing a sponsorship (like me :-), or pre-purchase calendars to share with all your loved ones, you’ll be contributing to the joy and healing of the queer business community.
Yours in Pride,
Emilah Dawn DeToro (she/her)
Board Member
Tucson LGBT Chamber of Commerce (aka The Gaymber)
Dragonfly Coaching and Consulting, LLC, Owner
Healing for Pets and Their People, Owner
P.S. It’s Pride Month! I look forward to seeing you all at the Pride Breakfast on June 20th–Queer Family Feud, y’all! Dress in your summer of ’69 fabulousness as we celebrate Queer Joy–all days, all months, all decades. Or if early morning fashionista isn’t your jam, come ready to cheer on your favorite style icon as they strut their stuff–bring those dollar bills to show your love!