Greetings, fellow Gaymber members & friends! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dave Fredricks, and I’m coming up on my two year anniversary on the Gaymber’s Board of Directors.
The Gaymber has Board members in every decade range, from 20-somethings to 60s. We are young Gen Y through young Boomers. At the age of 60, I’m one of the, shall we say, senior members of the Board. Being part of the Gaymber board has allowed me to give back to our community—and to learn from the younger members of the Board.
I grew up and came out in a small town in Michigan in the mid-‘80s. Coming out at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic was terrifying and also built the person I am today. At that point, an HIV positive test result was a death sentence—for a painful, scary, and usually lonely death. From day to day, we didn’t know what was safe about being intimate and what might kill us. And at the same time, I was young gay man, eager to connect with other men. (Still am, by the way: Helloooo, gentlemen!!)
In 1987, my grandfather passed away, and to encourage my grandmother to keep up on her health, I went to do blood tests with her. Three weeks later, I received a letter that I had tested positive for HIV.
February of 1987 was when Cleve Jones in San Francisco created the first panel of the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. It honored his friend Marvin Feldman, who died of AIDS on October 10, 1986. Each panel is 3 feet by 6 feet – the size of a typical grave. As of 2020, the Quilt weighed approximately 54 tons.
March of 1987 was when Larry Kramer in New York founded the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, aka ACT UP. The organization has been called “the most effective health activists in history, pressuring drug companies, government agencies and other powers that stood in their way to find better treatments for people with AIDS — and, in the process, improving the way drugs are tested and approved in the U.S.” source
But in the middle of the country, in a small town, I knew nothing of any of that. Panicked, I raced to my doctor for a retest and found out that I had presented a false positive. I was HIV negative. (The Western Blot test, which was the improved test for HIV, didn’t come out until April of 1987.) I survived. I survived the plague that devastated my generation and the older gay and bi men who might have been my mentors and role models.
As much as the AIDS crisis shaped me, I was also a young, white Midwestern gay man. AIDS aside (and that’s a BIG aside!) our concerns centered mostly around what bar to go to or what Cher was wearing. As I got older and moved from my small town, I encountered more individuals in the community who inspired and supported me, fostering my personal and professional growth. Though we had lost so many people, we also had grown in our strength and advocacy and solidarity.
And that growth continues today in my role with the Gaymber! When I first joined the Board, I started hearing terms like BIPOC, What are your pronouns?, and marginalized communities. During my first meeting I was Googling half of the time and making lists to Google later! I have to say, to this day, I still have foibles with tracking pronouns. It’s not always easy to learn new ways of thinking and new perspectives, but I am consciously trying to learn more, to keep growing. That reciprocity of learning about each other is how we create the fabric of our community.
It is through the strength of our community that I found the courage to pursue my dreams and aspirations. I am a proud gay man. And who I am today has been shaped by the people whom I have connected with in our community. My very first boyfriend taught me the valuable lesson that you are never going to be able to truly love anyone until you love yourself.
As I become more involved with the Gaymber, I keep realizing the incredible impact our organization has on the lives of individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. The sense of belonging and empowerment that Gaymber provides is truly remarkable. It’s a gift of love, a gift of being seen, heard, and celebrated. By being part of that, I can keep passing the gifts I’ve received over the years on to other people in our community. I hope always that I am contributing in a meaningful way. And in turn I can receive the gift of knowing and understanding others better as well.
In the new year some of our Board members will be stepping down after years of service to the Gaymber and to our community. I invite you to step up to join me on the Board, to start a journey of your own with the Gaymber, to keep creating that community with me and with the rest of our extraordinary Board members! Email Vera Minot at president@tucsonlgbtchamber.org to find out more about Board service. I look forward to connecting with you!
Warm Regards,
Dave Fredricks, Southwest Solutions
Board Member – Tucson LGBT Chamber of Commerce
Pronouns: he/him
